The last time I posted I was at the annual meeting of the Presbyterian Church in America's General Assembly. This year, 2018 we are in Atlanta, also known as "Hotlanta" but not this week, I am thankful God arranged for a relatively breezy mild welcome for us.
I was encouraged as I attended the women's breakfast conference where two women spoke of their friendship and their experience on bridging the racial divide that faced PCA churches in Mississippi. They overcame awkwardness and fear (perhaps of saying something dumb) and forged ahead for the sake of the gospel. Their togetherness is not the result of a social mission by a white church to evangelize a people of color.
This (and the previous three PCA General Assembly meetings) have had racial reconciliation as a prominent topic. I hear of the protests being submitted about this from some (presumably white) people asking "How long..." "But it wasn't me..." and so forth in frustration to what they perceive as too much on the topic of racial reconciliation. These protests are signals the conversation needs to continue.
As a mother of minority children I feel I should speak up a little, although, to be honest, I'm really nervous about it. Forgive me if I botch this up, laugh at my stupidity as I learn more by getting vulnerable here.
Since the brown skinned people outnumber the white skinned people in my home I'm going to take the liberty to say something based on how I feel when I hear other white people speak about people of color.
Black people are not "they", there is not "their" hair or any other big lumping generalizations a white person should say about people of color.
Let me explain: Before I became the mother of 6 minority kiddos I would notice large similarities among people of a certain race or ethnicity and make a generalization. For example, I would look around the room and notice the hair of African American women. The styles were such that I couldn't imagine how it would be possible to achieve that look since my hair (and the hair of anyone I had ever known closely) would never look like most of the styles I would notice on black women. I would see everything that seemed different from what was familiar to me and my caucasian world and I would lump all black women into one category: DIFFERENT THAN THE NORM.
That is to say DIFFERENT THAN NORMAL.
If I'm honest, that is what my thoughts were. They weren't so clear, I wouldn't have termed it that way but that's really what it was. I considered my white world "normal" and anyone else was "unique" or "different". Having black daughters and sons has opened my eyes to my own sad state of understanding.
I now experience the hair standing up on the back of my neck when I hear someone speaking of a minority in certain ways. For example, when speaking about my daughter's hair some will generalize and say "they do it this way..." or "they are very..." in reference to the African American community (or any cultural people.) It's really not a fair comment. It's a ME focused comment.
Every person is created exactly the way God designed them. Each of us represents God as each of us was created in His image. Since people exist in many skin colors I assume we are all necessary in order to accurately represent the image of God (just like both men and women are needed to completely represent the image of God.)
I have an exercise for you:
The next time you are in a room of ethnically diverse people look around... 1) Look at the individual black women and notice how each lady's hair is different from the hair of a lady whose skin is the same as hers. Also notice all their differences from each other. 2) Now look around again. See all the caucasian women in the room. Is their hair all the same? Some white women have thin hair, some white women have thick hair, some color their hair, some are gray, some get perms, some straighten their hair. Some white women have "good hair."
Do you see it? Do you see the differences? Hmmmm maybe ALL us women have more in common than we might have once understood. Is it possible we are all unique and individual in many ways? Do black women struggle with losing weight? with crazy kid's activities? with what to make for dinner? with reaching out to their unsaved neighbor? ummm, you know the answer to these questions. White women don't even think about how they are the same or different from other white women, right? And so we shouldn't even think of lumping all women of color in with each other.
Let us see each other as individuals, each as different as we imagine ourself to be while bearing the image of Christ. Let us see all women, no matter their skin color or ethnicity, as part of the body of Christ, necessary for a complete picture of the body of Christ. Let us strive to form friendships that leave an unsaved, watching world wondering about this hopeful state of affairs here in the PCA and the Christ-following crowd throughout the world.
To God be the glory!!
xo Lynnette
P.S. I welcome feedback on this important conversation. If I have struck a nerve, I'd like to know about it so I can continue to work on my blindspots!
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